Monkeys with Hammers

You can’t go wrong with a monkey with a hammer.  The possibilities are endless.

• Politics – obvious but oddly necessary.
• Corporate culture – see example, or just go to work
• Music – wait, how can you tell anymore?
• Reality Shows – who wouldn’t want to see a monkey with a hammer go berserk on American Idol?

Dilbert by Scott Adams

The point is, if there ever was one, is that a monkey can get away with a lot more than we could.  And,  AND it’s as entertaining as hell.  Stick a hammer in his or her hand and the world is your oyster.  At least until the monkey hammers the snot out of it.

Stick a hammer in the hand of a normal person and all you end up with is a very bad horror movie or the evening news.

Your choice.

Back to monkeys.  I’m not a huge monkey fan, certainly not like some friends of mine.  I fail to see the appeal of a screaming, fuzzy simian that is often more coherent than some of my more distant relatives.  Envy?  Possibly.  But stick a hammer in their hand and they’re golden (or intoxicated.)

Maybe it’s the hammer . . .

I Have A Blog?

Okay, so it’s been a while.  If you follow this blog then you may be led to believe that I think there are only 10 months in the year.

Aren’t there?

A Matter of Perspective

This is my grandfather, Carl Copper, born in 1893.  The photo was taken in Elwood, Pennsylvania in 1939.  I look at this photo and I can see my grandfather's entire life.  On the surface there is the struggle and hardship, but underneath there is much more - resilience, triumph and many more facets of a long, hard life.

To put things in perspective:

• January 7th, 2007 - Apple announces the iPhone
• November, 1987 - Microsoft introduces the first version of Windows
• November 9th, 1989 - The Fall of the Berlin Wall
• August 6th, 1945 - Nuclear Bomb "Little Boy" is dropped on Hiroshima
  
• January 15th, 1929 - Martin Luther King is born
  
• June 28th, 1919 - Treaty of Versailles is signed ending The Great War.
• 1894 - Rudyard Kipling's The Jungle Book is published

It just makes me pause for a moment.

"Honor the Past, Look to the Future and Live in the Present."

-Me

It’s OK to Think

On the way home a few days ago I needed to pick up some things at the store so naturally I decide to stop at the local grocery store. Any opportunity to attempt to avoid buying chocolate is fine with me. The only complication to this plan was the weather. As I drove up the hill to our home I noticed the clouds getting lower. No problem, what's a little precipitation?

Let's stop for a second and define what "a little precipitation" means to someone who not only lives in Western Washington, but was born here. "A little precipitation" means:

• Noah has not been notified, yet.
  
• You can still see the person waiting at the stop sign in the middle of the night at a deserted intersection.
  
• Salmon are not running for public office. (It's a pun! Oh never mind . . .)
  
• People still go swimming.
  

So, I'm turning into the local QFC, destined to forget half of what I stopped for in the first place. Now it was raining. Not just a little but coming down in sheets so hard landmarks were being redefined. It was SOLID. I still get out to do my shopping, walking casually to the store because it really didn't matter how fast I went. The second I stepped out of the car I was soaked to the bone. I do my shopping, forget half of what I need and start for home. There is six inches of water in the parking lot which is pretty good considering we were on top of a hill. Just as I'm about to exit I have to wait. One of the landscapers hired to take care of the local scenery was walking the parking lot, gas-powered leaf blower strapped to his back.

Huh?

It still hurts to get my head around it. What was he trying to do? Any leaves were well on their way to Puget Sound via the public roadways. Salmon were spawning in the empty parking spaces. Was he trying to clear the water away? Was he trying to compete with nature and blow the rain back to God?

Why did somebody not walk up to him and say, "You know, why don't you take a break until after the tide goes out." It doesn't even have to be his supervisor, just anyone to spark an idea.

But no. He went about his job regardless of what was going on in the world around him. I can appreciate that type of dedication and I really don't want to write fantastic quips at his expense. The mindset is all too common today.

But come on!

Get the Hell out of the rain.

Late Night Brainstorming

or "It's 2:30 AM, do you know where your creativity is?"

So, it's nearly 3:00 AM and my creativity seems to be turned on high. I've made some really good writing progress, bashing my way through some words that up until now just didn't want to come out. Sounds a bit odd but for some asinine reason I'm wide awake and writing like a fiend.

Does this make any sense? Creative people tend to be a bit more eccentric than others. If you happen to be creative and dislike my reference to eccentric, take a gander at this and then get back to me in case you still feel it doesn't fit - from a generalized point of view.

From Merriam-Webster.com: eccentric

Good? Great, now let's move on and ponder the ramifications of creativity hitting at three in the morning.

1. Sleep seems to be optional
2. Vividly describing a sunrise is usually done through half-open eyes.
3. Not everyone is a night person, which will likely include members of your family.
4. Sane people are generally not available to bounce ideas off of, even if they are during the day.

So, unless you are unwilling to take feedback from the cat it's just you. And let's be honest, who among us hasn't looked to the family pet for guidance at least once when we were in a jam?

I guess the gist is that if you find yourself on a creative blitz while under the influence of sleep deprivation, you might want to review in the morning.

Writing Under the Influence

This is what my head feels like (No, the one on the left).

This started out as a mindless rant about being sick and the affects it has on me when I try to be creative. But then you can guess what happened.

I got sick.

First let me say that when I'm sick I'm unable to really think straight for any length of time. Two coherent sentences strung together means I'm on the mend. Usually when I'm sick I struggle with verb/noun agreement and wondering just what the heck that little dot at the end of sentences is for.

I've heard some writers, published ones in fact, say they wrote some of their best stuff while in sick bed. Whoopee.

Look at the picture above again. That's my brain on influenza. Any questions?

The Artful Approach to Avoiding Blame

I have a friend who I use to spar with quite frequently. One of the things he used to do with the students who were just learning to spar would be to stop suddenly, point to the side and yell, "Look! Tree!" The student would look and John would thump them. This was usually good for one shot per student. Seldom ever twice.

This is my tactic when I find three typos in the last post. Instead of admitting to them, I instead will post the latest Dilbert comic, proclaiming it to be the funniest in some time and associate it with some past work experience.

Because I am pressed for time please perform the work experience association yourself.

Dilbert by Scott Adams