Fatherhood, Who Woulda Thought?

I kinda feel like this kid.  I’m just wondering if there is a primal scream thing going on.

Breathe.

Let’s talk about this fatherhood thing for a moment.  First words for instance.  It may have been, “Mommy.”  Possibly.  I didn’t hear that one.

“Daddy?”  Are you kidding!?  I’m the guy who holds the book and fills the bathtub.  I came with the house.

To be honest I don’t remember what her first words were.  I had to check.  It was, “Bye.”  Not the greatest one, not the one you dream about.  But not bad.  The kid isn’t screaming.  I believe she knows you will be coming back.  And she says it to EVERYONE.  Waves her hand and blows kisses too.

But there are memorable ones.  At least from my point of view.  Here’s an incomplete list – it’s always growing.

1. “No.” – gotta love this one.  Let’s assert ourselves and be cute about it at the same time.  There are probably a hundred different ways she can say this and I just melt.  Then there’s the one way . . . moving on.
2. “Dees” (This) – Not possessive, just indicating what she would like.  Even if there are three hundred things one the table, or nothing at all.  “What is it you want, Sweety?  This?  This?  How about This?  Maybe This? Or this?  Please!?  What do you want?  How about . . . hey, where did you go?”
3. “Peese” (Please or Peas) – This could go both ways so you gotta watch your context here.  Watch for the sign language, that’ll help.  Unless she’s asking for peas and being polite about it, which she is a lot.  Then I just stare at her like an idiot.
4. “Cookie” – Ah man, it’s so cute.  Don’t tell Mommy but you can have another.  In ten years I bet I get ratted out.
5. “Again” – You wouldn’t think it but this is a dangerous one.  For example, would you like to know how many times I have read “Tumble Bumble” in one sitting?  You probably don’t want to ask me in person.  Email might be best.  Secondly, leg lift rides where she is sitting on my legs and I bounce her up and down and up and down and up and down and down and “Again.”  I’ve had less painful “near misses” in Tae Kwon Do.  And my Pappa didn’t give his son the greatest of knees in the first place.
6. “Yes” – FINALLY!  Confirmation.  Validation.  A hint that we’re going in the right direction.  Or so we think. We’re probably fooling ourselves.

Notice how I subtly brought Mommy in on that last one?  I’m clever that way.