I’ll just say this much, the guy who invented the automatic flushing toilet does not get a cookie. A kick to the side of the head, possibly but a cookie? No.
There are any number of things that one can criticize about regarding public restrooms but I will only address this one simple subject. Of all the decisions in my life that I need taken away from me, flushing the toilet is NOT one of them. Ever. At all. Under any circumstance. Even if a tidal wave is coming, I can handle it.
It’s not that I’m worried about being outsmarted by an irrigated ceramic thrown. I just don’t want the damn things flushing all the time. I would have thought that the purpose for having one of these masterpieces of modern science would be to save water. That doesn’t seem to be the case at all. Everyone of these idiotic things seems to be trying to erode itself out of existence from the inside.
You walk in, it flushes. You look at it, it flushes. You turn around, it flushes. You look at it after turning around to figure why it just flushed, and it flushes. You put that paper thingy down and it flushes, taking the paper thingy with it. You use another paper thingy and sit down . . . AND IT FLUSHES! It would be like a bidet but a bidet never tried to suck you inside it.
Then, when you’ve finished and you are ready to depart you step away and . . . nothing.
Ever.
